The end of a day

Hope this post doesn't go too long - as I am quite ready to head home and to bed for the night. It's been a long weekend, a long day. You know what I mean? I'm looking back over the events of the weekend have to say of all the wonderful times I shared with friends, times in worship and hearing the the Word of God taught, the most special time was the couple of hours where I just got alone again with Jesus and heard His pleasure in my life. Have you ever had someone ask you the question, "what's your pleasure"? That's what I found myself asking the Lord this weekend. "What is Your pleasure with me?" Whew! It's a little overwhelming. On one level to really believe that Father God takes pleasure in me. I can't comprehend it. I'm not down on myself, but I do know me pretty well and, well some of you know me pretty well also...and there's definitely reason to question how God can take plesure in me. But I trust HE really does.

On another level, and more so what was happening in my heart this weekend is that God can and will do what He pleases with me. I hit a place of wanting to just return to safety. You know the feeling - vision and call and ministry and obedience is so, so thrilling and frightful all at the same time - I'm a go go go go go kinda guy and then I hit a wall....like I did on Thursday night...I think it was Thursday. I just wanted to retreat back to what is safe and familiar...no Africa trip, no starting new churches and ministries.....so I told the Lord that, and the Spirit responded to me as I lay there in bed, "do you want to go to sleep tonight? or would you like to wrestle through the night?" I surrendered quickly - I really do trust Him with my life and I really don't want to return to "safety" you know....so anyway.....the next morning I woke with a refreshing word from the Lord.....he's opening doors and allowing me and others who are close, to enter into Kingdom ministry here and all over the world. I must walk through those doors. To come to the end of my life one day and say, "I had the opportunity, but chose safety", how sad.

O.K. I hope this makes at least a little sense......and even if it doesn't you get a glimpse into what's going on in this boys heart.

Love yall.

d.